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Tuesday, May 19

Proactive Parenting

First I want to let you know that there is a giveaway involved, and no, it's not from me.  Sorry.  It's being hosted by Victoria @ Life Starring Ellie and Eve.  Cute blog.  Lots of product reviews and giveaways.


And why am I telling you this?

Well, I struggle with my little ones, almost daily.  There is three of them and if you've visited before, you may know that my son is four and his twin sisters are eleven months behind him at three.  There is only one of me and I feel that I am failing all four of us.  I know I have to change my thinking from what I just written above, but to what?  How?

I want to raise my children to be caring, mindful, respectful, to be good readers, listeners, and problems solvers.  I want them to live with integrity, to respect and love themselves.  Just overall good 'people'.  I don't want them to be perfect, we are not meant to be perfect.  I'm not all of those things either.

Raising my children sounds and is so much better than correcting behavior and Victoria is kindly giving away a set of 10 seminar books from ProActive Parenting.  <<  Click the link and check out some of their topics.

I confess.
Yes - Parenting is draining me.
Yes - It would be great if the kids did what I told them to do with out my yelling.  I hate yelling.

And that is why I'm entering the contest and sharing it with you.  It wouldn't be nice to share.  So, go on, visit Victoria and check out the qualifying details.  If you don't enter for yourself, you can always enter for someone you know that could use a lift up.

Now, if you have any tips on handling 3& 4 year olds lying to you...

Thank you for visiting and good luck!

5 Comments:

momstheword 5/19/09, 9:38 PM  

oh yes, I remember those years. "Did you finish your dinner?" and "Yes, mommy" but of course you can see the dog eating it.

Fortunately they aren't very good liars at that age, lol! They give themselves away!

You are doing fine, my dear, I'm sure. Just hang in there and make sure to relax from time to time after they're all in bed.

My kids were in bed by 7:30 or 8:00 at the latest at that age. I remember days when I couldn't wait for bedtime, lol!

It Feels Like Chaos 5/20/09, 12:22 AM  

Hi! It is great to "meet you". Thanks for following my blog. You have a great blog! I'm definitely coming back to explore it when I have more time!

As far as handling 3 and 4 year olds lying -- that is tricky, but when my son was 4 I was very close to literally pulling my hair out over his behavior. Then we started using the privilege chart (see my post about it here: http://itfeelslikechaos.blogspot.com/2009/03/works-for-me-wednesday-privilege-chart.html) and it saved my sanity, not because he was suddenly an angel all the time, but because I had a plan for dealing with his behavior. I no longer had to yell, but simply say, "I'm sorry you just did that, you need to go move down 2." If he argued or lied about what he did, then it was, "Oh that's too bad, now you need to move down 4."

Anne,  5/20/09, 4:50 PM  

As far as kids lying...
First of all, you have to learn to not sweat the small stuff. Lying is huge. We have made it perfectly clear that lying gets you in more trouble than doing "the wrong". This is where we had to not worry about the little things. The punishment is for lying. (Punishment for small ones being time out usually. No toys or sibling to play with is quite effective here.) So, if the kids are running in the house and break something, then lie and say it wasn't them, the punishment is for lying, not breaking. We have held pretty strong with that and now the kids are quite forthcoming with their wrongs. I tend to be alot nicer about "little things" than lying and they have learned that. Of course they are 8,8 & 12 now. Hope that helps at least a little.

momstheword 5/20/09, 9:38 PM  

Thank you for your precious encouraging words. I appreciate them (and you) so much!

It's funny but I really have no idea where I found some of the blogs I read. I think some found me, but I know that I found alot through following a comment back, or from someone's blogroll.

I pay lots of attention to blogrolls, figuring if I like that person's blog I will probably like the blogs they like, you know?

Not sure how I found you either.

momstheword 5/21/09, 4:21 PM  

Hahaha! You are so funny. That never actually occured to me but when I reread it, it does sound kind of gruesome, lol!

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