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Sunday, February 8

Thank You Thank You Thank You

Ok, my mom thinks I'm paranoid, but I really, really, really have a hard time allowing anyone to babysit my children or have them go to daycare.


Now, don't get me wrong, I do have a select few that I trust with them, but over all - no.  Sorry.

Paranoid?  Maybe.

Here is my enthusiasm behind this post...

I'm pushing to finish reading Have a New Kid by Friday by Dr. Kevin Leman since I've wasted my time with it and I can't extend the loan from the library - someone else wants it.  Go figure.

Not that I'm going to give you any details now...  However, I can say, it's not about what you think.  Further review to be posted over at my other blog, but page 158, at the bottom, talks about your child going on overnights to their friends' house.  What age is appropriate, where, etc...

Well let me tell you.  As soon as I read "How well do you know the family that your child would be staying with?"  and he goes on to write, "Do you know, for sure, that there is no pedophile in that home?"

Hallelujah!!  Thank you!  Bam!  No more paranoid guilt for me!  I wanted to jump up and down with excitement!  Let me tell you - on the inside, I was!  Validation for my feelings...Beautiful!

Seriously though, am I a paranoid parent that will shelter her children from experiencing the fun of sleep-overs at a friends house?  Of course not, but there are several factors that will need to be considered before allowing it and, honestly, they will have more sleep-overs at our home than at a friends'.

So how about you?  Do you let your children go to sleep overs?  How old were they when they started?  I'd love to 'hear' your thoughts as our children are only 3 & 4 and are not at that stage yet.

Thank you for sharing.

Until next time!

9 Comments:

Anne,  2/10/09, 3:52 PM  

Shanna,
You are doing great! We have the same problem with sitters and sleepovers. I am having a slight problem now because Mitch is 12 and in boyscouts. There are overnight camping trips all over the place. He has not been to a sleepover at a friends house ever. Right now, Greg has been going along as an adult chaperone, so that's been good. However, he will be working too much this spring to do so. Then what?
Anyway, you are not paranoid. Pedofiles are everywhere. Unfortuneately we found out the hard way that they are even weaved into your own family. First and foremost, follow your gut, and your child's. If they (or you)sense they don't care for someone listen! Don't let anyone tell you "you are paranoid." I'm still not sure how to find the balance, but educate your kids on the whole matter starting now. They are not too young.

Shanna 2/10/09, 9:04 PM  

Oh wow, I've completely forgotten about the school/'club' activity overnights. But yeah, it's all the same.

I hope you are able to find a solution for Spring activities.

Thanks for sharing your personal experience with this topic - same with our family. :|

And thank you for your support.

Melissa 2/12/09, 2:12 PM  

Hi - I'm a new reader, I love your blog. And I can totally relate, I'm paranoid about leaving my kids with other people. My daughter (she just turned six) has spent the night only at relatives or VERY close friend's (and even then, I call several times to check in and make sure she's okay). Sending her to school this year was INCREDIBLY difficult, and a huge part of it was that it just felt WRONG to send her off with strangers all day.

You aren't paranoid - or if you are, you aren't alone :-)

Organizing Mommy 2/12/09, 10:50 PM  

Shana,

I totally do not allow my children to have sleep overs. It is dumb. People can sleep at their own houses. When we have overnight guests, I will allow them to sleep in the same room if we know them VERY well, but otherwise, the guest (even if young) gets a separate room. My friend's son was sexually abused at a sleepover by children of a "Christian" family. Yikes and yikes again.

About Kevin Leman. There are some good ideas there, but I feel it is not entirely Bible based. I love his ideas on giving consequences for their actions.

About being an extrovert. Just be yourself. If you are naturally quiet, you probably have deep friendships with people. That is nice too.

Shanna 2/13/09, 8:27 AM  

@Melissa - Thank you Melissa! It's nice to know that I am not alone.

My three are not yet ready for school, but I already feel guilty knowing that it is coming and have been researching homeschooling and the the financial logistics to make it work.

Have a Fabulous Friday!

Shanna

Shanna 2/13/09, 8:31 AM  

@ Organizing Mommy - Thank you as always for stopping by and leaving a comment. You *think* you know, but you don't and I just don't want to take that chance.

Dr. Leman does have some good ideas and I think I was looking for more validation on my own parenting skills and additional tips.

Take care,
Shanna

Tabitha Blue/Fresh Mommy 2/19/09, 12:17 AM  

I'm with you, my daughter is only 2 and not at that stage yet, but I don't know when I'll be ready for it. We're pretty selective as well.... and I don't think there's any need to apologize for it! We are giving our kids the safest surroundings that we can provide or control. Keep up the good work!!!

:)
~Tabitha~

freshmommyblog.com

momstheword 2/20/09, 1:44 PM  

I had a few people I trusted to babysit (like my parents, siblings or a few close friends).

My kids did stay all night at my parents but we didn't do overnighters with friends. Except one or twice and these were close, trusted friends and I knew their families.

We refused overnighters many, many times. Even as teens we refused overnighters because we felt that it just wasn't a good idea.

Our kid's friends probably thought we were nuts and mean but that was our decision.

momstheword 3/1/09, 8:46 PM  

Just popping in to say "hi!" and see what you're up to!

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